Orwell on Writing Well

I am currently reading a number of books on the usage (and abusage) of the English language, including Between You and I by James Cochrane and Troublesome Words by Bill Bryson not to mention browsing through the bible on language usage that is Fowler's Modern English Usage. The former two are amusing A-Z lists of the most common mistakes in usage, spelling and punctuation.

Perhaps nobody has summarized things as well as George Orwell, in his essay titled "Politics and the English Language" (included as an appendix in Cochrane). He memorably "translates" a passage from the book of Ecclesiastes (King James Version) into modern English. The original passage read:

I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

Orwell suggests that in modern English the same passage might well read:

Objective consideration of contemporary phenomena compels the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into account.

Orwell readily admits that the above was an exaggeration, but anyone who has encountered modern business and management speak, or legal jargon, would wince in sympathy. He also believes that sloppy, unclear language is not only representative of sloppy and unclear thinking, but that it leads to more imprecise thinking.

At the core of bad writing, according to Orwell, is staleness of imagery and lack of precision. Bad writing is characterised by two things: the writer is unable to express his meaning or inadvertently means something different to what he has written; or the writer is indifferent to whether his words mean anything at all.

The first of the two is due to sloppiness and can be corrected. The second, in my opinion, is by far the more dangerous and pernicious, and can be seen in the management and business speak that is growing increasingly pervasive today. It is stale, imprecise and incomprehensible precisely because its writers have nothing to say to begin with.

While we might bemoan the fact that the English language is in a bad way (people are almost perpetually doing so, and are thus honoured with the title of pedant), is there anything that we can do about it? Orwell suggests the following six simple rules that govern clear language:

1. Never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print (i.e avoid cliches)
2. Never use a long word where a short word will do (i.e. avoid pretentiousness)
3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out (i.e. avoid longwindedness)
4. Never use the passive where you can use the active
5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent (i.e. avoid jargon)
6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

That I reckon is pretty good advice. I hope to bear it in mind in the entries ahead.

Book Buying Binge

Borders sent me a 35% off coupon by email (with an additional 10% off for Borders privilege members) so the inevitable happened: I went home with a whole load of books and a $400 odd hole in my pocket.

Zea recommended the Wine Bible as a comprehensive yet accessible book. I have been meaning to learn more about wine recently, prompted partly by Zea's interest as well as my own love of plonk. Given my love of facts and details, I think it was a good decision to buy the Wine Bible instead of some beginner's guide to wine.

15003 Trivia Facts was advertised at the back of Brainiac which I recently completed and I noticed a copy in Borders. It is an A-Z compendium of some of the most random, useless, fascinating and strange (often all at once) facts you will ever need (or more likely not need) to know. It was steep at $52.00 tag price but I relented and bought it given the fact I would get it at 45% off.

I had read a few Andre Norton novels as a teenager and remember her writing with a certain fondness. Norton is probably the queen of the teenage fantasy/science fiction novel. She writes in both fields and some of her novels are hybrids of the two. As a teenage, I read repeatedly that she was chiefly known for her Witchworld novels, but I never did manage to read them as they were long out of print. The Gates of Witchworld handily collects the first three Witchworld novels in one single volume. I was hesitant to buy it given it was a bit pricey and due to fears that I had outgrown Norton (I most definitely have!) but succumbed to a spate of nostalgic sentimentality.

Fowler's Modern English Usage has long been consider one of the final authorities on good English - and is known to be witty to boot. I have been meaning to try and improve my general understanding of the building blocks of english (grammar and other such boring stuff) and Fowler's seemed like a fun way to do that, besides being considered by those in the know to be an essential reference book. I snatched at the discount to buy a copy.

While browsing in Borders a week or so earlier, I chanced upon Edward Trencom's Nose and finished the first 50 or so pages at Borders. It seemed delightful enough as a tale about cheeses, the namesake nose, and a deep dark family secret. All told, irresistible. I have enjoyed (or rather appreciated - I am not sure one can truly enjoy Greene) the novels of Graham Greene for some time now, so The Honorary Consul is yet another of his myriad works.

Greek Mythology has been an area I have been meaning to find out more about (the list of things I mean to find out more about it truly endless). My sister, in particular has been quite interested in Mythology and it is due to her that the family possesses copies of Bulfinch's Mythology and Edith Hamilton's study of the subject. Robert Graves bringing his brilliant literary style (not to mention his own education in the Classics) to bear on an outline of the whole of Greek myth - simply essential.

I realised while browsing in the Science Fiction and Fantasy section that I never owned a copy of Dune, one of the seminal Science Fiction novels, and more importantly seminal to my interest in the genre after I read a battered paperback copy borrowed from the school library when I was thirteen. I decided to rectify this deficiency (and also resolved to re-read Dune again). On a sidenote, I noticed Cliff the resident regular reader at the Old Brown Shoe reading one of the Dune prequels just last week which probably inspired the purchase.

No less a figure than David Crystal, doyen of books on the English Language, recommended Mother Tongue by Bill Bryson as a engaging introduction of how the English Language evolved. That Bryson is witty and engaging there is little doubt. A perfect way to ease myself into yet another topic I have resolved to learn more about. Along those lines I also bought Speak which promised itself to be a short history of languages. It seemed accessible and interesting, so I bought it.

I have a constant love affair with football. As any Italian can tell you, a man is more faithful to his Football Club that any woman. Well, the Italians are fanatical about their football as John Foot points out in Calcio his paen to the Italian game. I decided to buy Brilliant Orange which is about Dutch football to accompany it. These two books can be added to Those Feet which is about English football (written by the same man who wrote Brilliant Orange) as well as How Football Explains the World by Franklin Foer. Next on the list The Ball Is Round by David Golblatt which promises to be a global history of Football. Am I the only one crazy enough to intellectualise my interest in football?

And so, in sum, I have absolutely no excuse for the splurging and shall hasten to declare this an early Christmas present for myself. One scary thought: the Borders offer is still on until the middle of next week. More damage to follow.
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Here is a complete list of the damage:

• The Story of Wine and Wine Atlas of the World by Hugh Johnson (present for Zea)
• The Wine Bible by Karen McNeil
• Edward Trencom's Nose by Giles Milton
• The Honorary Consul by Graham Greene
• In Search of Superstrings by John Gribbin
• 1001 Movies You Should Watch Before You Die
• Fowler's Modern English Usage
• Dune by Frank Herbert
• The Gates of Witch World by Andre Norton
• 15003 Trivia Facts (amazing trivia book)
• Blair: The Biography by Anthony Seldon
• Mother Tongue by Bill Bryson
• The Complete Greek Myths by Robert Graves
• The Stillborn God by Mark Zilla(On Religion and Politics)
• The Blind Watchmaker by Richard Dawkins
• Brilliant Orange: The Story of Dutch Football by David Winner
• Calcio: A History of Italian Football by John Foot
• Speak by Tore Jansson
• Blood Music by Greg Bear

Some Recent Reads

I decided to write a brief post on some of the books that I have been reading recently. Given my current unemployed status, it has been refreshing to once again have more time to devote to reading.

I chanced upon Brainiac written by Ken Jennings, who set the quiz world alight by winning around 70 consecutive episodes of Jeopardy in 2001, while browsing in a bookstore on holiday in Bangkok, Thailand. I remember hearing about the book from Rob Linham, who highlighted the fact that he rated a mention in the book (even if that mention is embarrassingly associated with Viagra - read the book for the full details).

Brainiac is far from just a tell-all account of Jennings' time on Jeopardy, though that obviously features in the book, but details "adventures in the curious, competitive, compulsive world of trivia buffs" as its subtitle clearly states. Jennings examines everything from the obsessively scary world of serious academic quizzing (such as NAQT University tournaments), to America's trivia obsession in the 60s culminating in the famous quiz show scandals (which were chronicled in the Robert Redford movie Quiz Show).

Jennings even manages to take us on fascinating sideshows like the town of Stevens Point, Wisconsin that gets taken over by a radio trivia marathon every year, not to mention the background and popularity of the trivia board game Trivial Pursuit. Ultimately, as a trivia buff myself, I couldn't help but enjoy the book tremendously. But I have no doubt that Brainiac would make an accessible and entertaining read for the once a year pub quiz player as much as the quiz fanatic. This is aided by the fact that Jennings is a very funny and charming writer who possesses a dry, self-depreciating humour. Brainiac is a delightful read and one that is highly recommended.

In addition, I also purchased a copy of Why is Sex Fun? by Jared Diamond while browsing at a Bangkok branch of Books Kinokuniya. I had previously read his brilliant Guns, Germs and Steel and its follow up volume Collapse and marveled at Diamond's ability to synthesize complex ideas and explain them in elegant and lucid prose. Why is Sex Fun? is no different in this respect as it sets out to examine the evolutionary origins of human sexuality.

Among the topics that Diamond examines are the battle of the sexes within human reproduction itself. As a defence to all males who are endlessly accused of doing much less work in terms of child rearing, Diamond points out that a male would only logically hang around to help rear a child if doing so would give me an increased likelihood of passing on his own genes (it would be more profitable, at first glance, for the man to just abandon the female and head off to try to impregnate as many other females as he can). Humans are actually rare among mammals in terms of the amount of care the male gives to offspring.

Other fascinating questions Diamond examines through the lens of evolutionary biology include why men don't lactate, the development of concealed ovulation (and sex for pleasure), the evolutionary bizarre fact of menopause, and the "truth in advertising" or evolution of body signals (there has to be a reason why the human male pecker is on average 4-5 times larger than the similar appendage in our evolutionarily close relative the Chimpanzee).

On piece of analysis I greatly enjoyed was the chapter entitled "what are men good for", examining the "evolution of men's roles". In a damning indictment to men, a study of aboriginal peoples actually showed that typically, the females provide equal or greater calorie resources in an average month compared to a typical male (the women by gathering grains, fruits etc, the men by hunting). Why then, Diamond asks, do the men persist in hunting when it would be more efficient to gather food?

The short answer: prestige. Women tend to choose to mate with the victorious hunter and not the wimpy food gatherer. Men are constantly chided by woman that "it isn't all about sex" (usually when they want to cuddle and find their guy snoring away). Diamond, in his book, proves convincingly otherwise.

I also had the opportunity to re-read two books recently. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer is still a uproariously amusing read and a wonderful reminder of the innocence and zest of youth. Anne Fadiman's Ex Libris is a delightful little collection of essays on books and reading that it an absolute must for any book lover. She is that rare writer that is erudite, tender, wise and witty in equal measure. Ex Libris is and will no doubt continue to be a source of pleasure and comfort to me.

Vita Brevis

There was a fatal accident involving a motorcyclist last night in close proximity to my house. The motorcyclist was lain out, covered with a standard issue police bodybag a mere metre or so from the bus stop right below my flat, his motorcycle lying on its side, forlornly, just ahead from him. I passed the scene as I made my way to buy myself dinner.

It was the usual tableau to be found in such situations - the scene of the accident, fronted by stationary police cars, sirens flashing but silent, a growing crowd thronging the sidewalk, though in this situation the onlookers were spared the discomfort of observing the next-of-kin carry out their private grieving on all too public a stage.

Staring, gawking crowds in such a situation, with their pointed fingers and equally pointed whispers (voices lowered in respect as befits a church or soon to be funeral) are easy targets for criticism. Why can't these people leave well alone, why must they be such kapos (busybodies)?

Personally, I believe that there is a powerful poignancy when, in the course of your everyday activity, you come across the reality of unexpected mortality. Joggers paused, disrupting their relentless pace, families stopped and stared. I even saw a motorcycle slow and come to a halt just beyond the fallen motorcycle, a salute of sorts to a fallen brethren.

Scenes like the above are an all too powerful reminder of our very own mortality, of the fact that vita brevis or life is short. In the middle ages, it was common for the rich and powerful to hang memento mori (literally reminder of mortality) paintings in their homes. These paintings would show riches and ostentatious food, but also always a skull (representing eventual death) and often a timepiece (representing the unceasing passage of time) and served as a reminder in Thomas Gray's famous words that:

The boast of heraldry, the pomp of power
and all that beauty, all that wealth e'er gave,
await alike the inevitable hour,
the paths of glory lead but to the grave.

And so we stop and we gawk and stare, unbidden. Not merely due to some innate morbidity but because in such a scene we are confronted with the possibility of the shortness of our own lives. Of course we do realise that we cannot live forever, but if we were to be honest we can hardly contemplate our own mortality. It is an absurdity to us, death is - both fascinating and repulsive at the same time.

But traffic accidents force us to contemplate, whether we wish it or not, the inherent transiency of life. It is the memento mori of the industrial age. A reminder that life is short.

Brave Scotland's Dreams Dashed

For nine months now, fuelled by a double win over France and a superbly fought campaign, the Scots believed. After finding themselves drawn in the group of death with the two World Cup finalists, after going through the football wilderness under ex-coach Bertie Vogts, when everyone else had written them off, the Scots never lost faith.

Even after the worst of all possible starts tonight, conceding in the 2nd minute, the Scots didn't allow themselves to be disheartened. Instead, they fought and equalised, and there was a palpable sense of destiny, of inevitability, when the Scots proceeded to put world champions Italy under the kosh for the last half an hour. Surely now, it was the turn of the hard luck Scots to win their glory in European Championship qualification.

Instead, on a pouring night at Hampden Park, we find ourselves taking the usual cliches out of the drawer - brave Scotland, who fought tooth and nail to the end, only to find their dreams dashed in the cruelest of circumstances.

The mathematics for Scotland were simple - win, and qualify for Euro 2008, draw and they would require help in the form of a Ukrainian victory over France for qualification (or the mother of all upsets when the Faroe Islands meet Italy), lose and their dreams of Euro qualification would be dashed.

They couldn't have planned a worse start to the match. The Scottish defence fell asleep as Di Natale was left unmarked in the box to receive an Italian throw-in. He quickly swiveled and played a square ball across the box where Luca Toni showed his great predatory instincts to come across his defender and poke the ball past a hapless Craig Gordon. Scotland's nervy start was only underlined when Toni cracked another shot into the side netting.

The Scots re-grouped though and soon put the Italian goal under pressure, chiefly through their dominance of the set-piece. The set piece was always going to be crucial for the Scots as any team would expect a paucity of chances against the mean Italian defence (admittedly missing regulars Nesta, Materazzi and Grosso), and the Scots utilised it to the fullest extent. First Lee McCulloch and then Barry Ferguson missed the target when corner kicks were cleared to them at the edge of the area.

It was no surprise then that their two closest chances came from corners. First, Alain Hutton headed inches wide of the right hand post from another fantastic James McFadden delivery. Then, the Scots were left ruing their luck at the stroke of half time when elder statesman David Weir rose highest and arrowed his header towards goal, only to see it headed off the line. The Scots did ride their luck on occasion though, as Gordon made an excellent save from a fierce Ambrosini drive, and the Italians were very unfortunate that Di Natale's follow up was incorrectly ruled offside. 0-1 at halftime then, with qualification hanging by a thread.

The Scots needed a massive performance in the second half, and the Hampden crowded were determined to do their part in the proceedings. They came onto the pitch to a deafening roar, with the crowd chanting "freedom" (inspired by an excerpt from Braveheart played over the loudspeaker system). The Italians sauntered out in their wake, their vastly experienced players seemingly unfazed by all the noise.

Despite starting nervously, the Scots soon found the lifeline they needed. Hutton made yet another of his surging runs from right back and was fouled on the edge of the box. McFadden's freekick fell kindly to Lee McCullogh who shot weakly in the six yard box. Buffon contrived to spill the ball though, much to the delight of Scottish captain Barry Ferguson who slid Scotland level.

Scottish manager Alex McLeish showed his intentions to win the match by bringing on Kenny Miller to partner McFadden upfront in an attacking move. A wonderful passing move from Scotland soon afterwards found McFadden in the area but he lashed wide where a cross to Miller might have been the better option. Minutes later, McFadden wasted a superb chance to put Scotland ahead - Scotland cut Italy open again, and Miller played a wonderful ball across the goal to McFadden only for him to scythe wide with the goal gaping.

By then, Italy looked nervous and settled into their defensive shell, content to secure the draw they needed (with help from their usual repertoire of time-wasting tactics). The Scots themselves, having given it everything, began to tire, making it even harder to find the needed breakthrough. The Italians did show some attacking intentions in the final stages, Panucci escaping Fletcher and heading wide from a cross from which he really should have scored.

As the clock ran down, Scotland still had a mathematical chance of qualification, and even better, still a chance to snatch glory. They were then robbed in the cruelest fashion. Alain Hutton had controlled the ball near to his own touchline when he was cynically bundled over by Italian substitute Chellini only for the referee to inexplicably give the Italians a free kick. As befitting the last act of a Greek tragedy, Pirlo curled in an excellent ball and Panucci didn't miss a second opportunity to put the ball in the back of the net.

It was horrendously cruel on Scotland who had fought bravely throughout the match and yet another addition to their catalogue of brave failures and near misses. But to lose in injury time, to a completely ludicrous refereeing decision must be particularly galling.

There has been much to take heart from the Scottish Euro 2008 qualification campaign - wonderful performances against more skilled teams and a clutch of talented young players breaking into the side in particular. It should not have had to end in bitter disappoint at Hampden as it did tonight; with yet another Scottish case of what might have been.

Addendum: News filtered through just half an hour later from Israel that Israel had defeated Russia, meaning that England only need a draw against Croatia at Wembley to qualify. Scotland can only curse the fact that their southern neighbours could have such a poor qualifying campaign only to have things fall in their favour while being so ill-favoured by fortune yet again.

The Secret

One of the recent publishing phenomenons has been a book, printed with pages designed to look like faded vellum and enigmatically titled The Secret. In the foreward, the author promises to reveal "The Great Secret - The Secret to life" claiming that it was known to Plato, Shakespeare, Newton, Beethoven, Lincoln, Edison and Einstein (among others).

Far from these great thinkers, inventors and composers, the author does liberally sprinkle her novels with quotes - from a plethora of self-help gurus both past and present. But I get ahead of myself. I had borrowed The Secret from a friend, thinking it a work of fiction, on which point I was sorely mistaken. I begin with this disclaimer: I am not a fan of self help books. In fact, I consider the entire genre to be rather disingenuously named - after all if you truly wanted to help yourself, you would not be seeking the valued advice of all these other writers on everything from how to get yourself hitched to how to make more money.

I decided to read the book, mainly due to curiousity about what made it so popular. However, what grated immediately was the author adopting a style of writing that I must, somewhat tongue in cheek, term the "British person overseas" style. A British person overseas, faced with a foreigner who, somewhat bafflingly, cannot speak English, has a tendency to repeat himself, usually speaking slower and louder, until comprehension is achieved. So too, the author of The Secret shows a faith in the idea that by repeating her key point, often with minimal variation, supported with quotations from various self help gurus basically saying the same thing, would lead the reader to acceptance rather than annoyance.

However, this rather simplifies my task in summarizing the ideas behind The Secret (which are anyhow contained in the handy end of chapter summaries - no point reading the rest of it, really). Basically, the Secret it founded on the Law of Attraction - we attract what we think back to ourselves. What we think about will come back to us. Our thoughts become things. I am sure you get the point by now.

So, if we think negative things, we attract negative things to us. If we feel bad, we attract bad things. So how do we use the law of attraction? We only have to ask, believe and then we will receive. To believe, we must think as if we already have received what we are asking for. If we do so, we will receive it. So, if you want to "lose weight" don't think about having to lose 20kg. Instead, just tell yourself "I am 52kg" (even if you are really 72kg). Once you feel that you are your perfect weight you will become it. Visualising what you want, and feeling a constant gratitude for what you already have will speed up the process, apparently.

The author then helpfully outlines how you can apply the Secret to Money, Relationships, Health and the World. Stop now, and read through the summary above and try for yourself how to apply this to any of the above categories. Let me use money as an example. Wait a minute, you might say, so growing rich just involves focusing on wealth (remember: you should never focus on bills or debt as you will just attract more of that negative stuff), imagining that you already have the money that you want, visualising the money (or any idea that you have that will make you all that moolah), and of course giving money away and feeling gratitude and generosity in doing so, as it will catalyze the process. Isn't that all a bit easy? But of course, that is the point! The Secret is amazingly simple and easy!

In fact, you can join the many people who have already utilised the Secret to find wealth, happiness in relationships and good health. It really is that easy! The author liberally cites examples ranging from a person visualising herself owning a copy of a DVD copy of The Secret (and then winning it in a special online contest) to the members of Belize Natural Exploration Limited who used the method in combination with a determination to find oil and natural gas (against the advice of trained geologists) and struck it rich. The Secret is after all quite versatile since the law of attraction permeates everything. You can use The Secret to attain everything from a dream house, a perfect life partner or a parking space.

Given the obvious cynicism I have employed in writing about the book thus far, you would think that I found it a complete waste of time. That isn't necessarily the case. It does suggest that there is merit in thinking positively, rather than negatively. In fact, thinking positively might just change your life. That is a self-help staple and a piece of age old wisdom that you don't need to spend another $30 to learn. As Bobby McFerrin sang, "Don't Worry, Be Happy".