Albert's Wedding; A Hectic Weekend

This proved to be a most hectic weekend and an absolutely crazy Saturday. It was dominated by two main events: the wedding of my ex-colleague from MFA, Albert, as well as a return visit of M to Singapore.

Albert's wedding proved to be the first wedding in which I was actively involved (i.e. other than as a guest at a church, or taking up table space at a dinner). I had been nominated as one of a number of "brothers", whose duty it was to lend support to him during the (mis)adventures throughout the day and during the ceremony itself.

The first order of business in any traditional chinese wedding is for the groom to drive over to pick up the bride. Traditionally, the bride will be safely ensconed in her room behind a number of locked doors, ably protected by her sisters, and the groom's job was to convince the sisters of the true depth and sincerity of his love for her. This of course meant that the groom is liable to be tested (euphemism for tortured) and he brings along his faithful band of brothers to assist him (euphemism for suffer in his stead).

Among the trials that Albert had to face was to eat bittergourd coated with additional substances like chilli (he hates bittergourd and brinjals) - though all the brothers ate them on his behalf; putting together declarations of love for his bride to be in both English and Chinese using words cut out from newspapers and magazines (It proved easy enough given Albert's ability to bullshit), singing her love songs through the window, and finally reading out a declaration in cantonese which he then had to sign. He had to conquer three doors in all, and success was only achieved through the liberal sprinkling of various currency notes in red packets to appease the jie meis. This was aided by a wonderful performance in the art of talking non-stop by Borg, and in spite of the girls managing to turn Albert's nephew (who was supposed to be on our side) against us, to the degree that Xander ended up chanting "more money" with them. The rest of the programme involved photo-taking and a tea ceremony at Albert's parents' place, and finally a trip to their new flat.

The wedding dinner itself was held at the York Hotel, in a relatively small ballroom. Given the extensively detailed order of proceedings (which applied to the daytime proceedings as well), it was always likely that everything would happen according to plan. I was seated with Pao Peiyu (who caused considerable excitement by being seen in a dress for the first time, and a classic black one at that); Chivy and Borg; and also Ambassador Tee Tua Ba, DS/IC and my former director at MFA. It was a pretty high powered table (there was a separate, no doubt less stressful Middle East directorate table). I had an interesting discussion with Borg, a real insider if there ever was one, about the recent Russian Presidential elections and Putin's time in power, as well as about Eastern European politics in general. There was also a discussion about the escape of JI terrorist Mas Selamat and his possible whereabouts (Mr Tee, a former Commissioner of Police, is one of a trio tasked to investigate what went wrong). I was the only one not to tow the government line, faithfully reported in the press that he is still at large in Singapore. When asked where he could be hiding I replied: "In Sumatra".

My main duty during that evening was to serve as Albert's designated drinker. It was a rather simple job to be honest - whenever any of his guests concocted a strange, usually potently alcoholic beverage for him as he did his round, I was to drink it in his stead (along with Borg and Adrian). This is a potentially very dangerous role to play in weddings where all the groom's friends are out to get him. However, Albert got off almost complete scot free. Ironically, instead of following my job description of limiting his alcohol intake, I ended up plotting with other MFA people to make Albert drink. In the end, we gave him a choice between drinking a pretty dodgy looking concoction, or standing on chairs with his bride and kissing her for the duration that the entire table could hold a yum seng. He opted for the latter and did it good-naturedly.

It was wonderful to play a role, no matter how insignificant, on such a monumental day for Albert (and my role did turn out to mainly involve standing around - thankfully!). It was also nice seeing all my old MFA colleagues again - Albert, Loy and his wife, as well as Sue, Joel and Brenda. All that pent up emotions meant that, at the end of proceedings, and in spite of the fact that I had gotten up at 6am that morning, I didn't feel inclined to go home (though I should have), and felt like prolonging the evening. That meant, inevitably, a trip to the Shoe.

In the interim between Albert's daytime program and the wedding dinner, I spent the afternoon at M's place, ostensibly to attend her nephew's first birthday party. The two of us spent the majority of the time just randomly chatting, this being M, it was done over wine (excellent of course). I had the honor of having a look at M's wine fridge, including her three bottles of Mouton Rothschild (the first time I had ever had the chance to even glimpse a first growth - it would be great to taste one, and that is a hint M if you are reading this!). Given the birthday party, it was rather amusing to see Maltesers, chocolates and sweets stuffed in with the bottles of expensive wine. It was definitely nice to chat about all and sundry - from wine, to tennis, to Oxford.